On giving up.

When we are no longer able to change a situation - we are challenged to change ourselves.


-Viktor Frankl-


So since my lovely boyfriend got me started again with this negative vibe, let's talk about giving up and other random shit (of course). So here goes...Giving up? Marilyn Von Savant quoted "Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent". In my case, giving up meant not caring anymore. 'Cause I'm just damn too tired to deal with it. I have other problems also and sometimes, I just can't handle everything all at once. I mean come on, it's not like I'm Wonderwoman. The problem's pretty simple of course, so that means that the solution is also simple enough that IF YOU REALLY DO CARE ENOUGH, this wouldn't take any effort at all in doing. So I hate it when my boyfriend doesn't reply in texts. I find it really rude 'cause I'm talking to the dude then suddenly he doesn't reply. When you equate that in a real conversation, it's like talking about a serious matter face to face then suddenly he turns away from you and leaves you behind with your gaping mouth. Rude don't it sound? It's my ultimate pet peeve. I MEAN COME ON! All your other girls that I've witnessed during our break up seasons were your textmates 24/7 (Don't deny it, I was there with you all the time when you were texting with that ugly ass bitch. You even asked me what you should reply - YES, I TOOK THAT ALL IN...Just less than 3 months that we were broken up and  I endured that.) Gee whiz. I'm starting to realize a lot of shit...But I'm just too damn tired to talk about it here. Anyway, let's shift to another topic 'cause this shit is making me really, really sad.

OLYMPUS E500

So I was bored the whole day at work so I started googling for new dslrs. But I realized that I want something like a Leica (but that shit's expensive!), so I opted to google Lumix (Yeah, the next best thing - And cheaper one). I stumbled across the PANASONIC LUMIX DMC GF1. And I fell in love. It's 30, 800 php when it was first released. So I was thinking that maybe the price went down since they're going to release a new version, the Panasonic Lumix DMC GF2. I'm good though with the GF1. Or I don't know, maybe I'll wait for the GF2. But I'm waaay excited to buy and upgrade my friggin' bulky dlsr. I have been using since 4th year High School an Olympus E500 DSLR. 

PANASONIC LUMIX DMC GF1

Sexy beast isn't she? It's a point and shoot camera that has the quality of a dslr camera but the size of a digital camera. Perfect camera for me, seriously. I really do hope it's not 30, 000 php until now. I want to buy as soon as possible. So since I'm selling my old camera, here goes.


FOR SALE:
OLYMPUS E500 DSLR CAMERA
Includes: Memory Card, Battery, Battery Charger, 2 lenses (1 Macro and 1 Micro lens), and 2 lens hood. Please do email me if you're interested so I can give you the price. My email is cheska.carreon@gmail.com.


I need to replace my old camera because I have been recently whining constantly how I couldn't bring my camera when I'm in a party. I want a camera that can capture everything perfectly, can take good ass quality pictures for photo shoots and when I travel in Europe. So I guess this camera is it!


Now that lifted my mood.


"Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it."


It's just another one of those days where I feel the lowest of the lows. I call it the quarter life crisis (Go figure!). I want to feel young again. I want to hang with people that makes me feel young. I try to party and all but honestly, I'm too tired. I come because I want to hang with my friends. But apparently, they like partying now. So instead of being stuck at home resting and wasting my weekend away, I'll just party with them and endure it. I just want to chill lately. Like drink in someone's house, play poker, those kinds of shit. Oh my gosh what am I talking about?!?! I AM 21 YEARS OLD. The peak of my youth! I should be enjoying myself. I just need to drink those damn vitamins so I'd have enough energy to stay up and party. Okay I'm ranting, time to stop.


WHAT IS TO GIVE LIGHT MUST ENDURE BURNING.
-VIKTOR FRANKL


Namaste.

If looks could kill.

The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.
Audrey Hepburn

Gosh you have no idea how much I love Audrey Hepburn. I would marry her in a heartbeat. Breakfast at Tiffany's is one hell of a movie. I can watch it forever.

LC from Laguna Beach and the Hills. I don't know why but she's really pretty for me. I don't get why people say that Kirsten Cavallari is better looking than her. I even find Lo Bosworth prettier than her. I guess it's a matter of taste. Anyway, I like what LC does to her hair. I'm kind of bored with my hair actually. Limited things that I can do with it. I try braiding it on the side once in a while but it's kind of straight now 'cause of it. Don't care. I want it straight but wavy. But...No. Expensive thing that digiperm. Lol.

Damn it, that hair. So friggin' nice!


Brittany Murphy...what a waste. She's really, really, really pretty for me. Got that swagger and elegance. Nice combination for a girl. Started out in Clueless and ended with Abandon. Hope the movie is good though. She is so adorable.

Destiny is for losers. It's just a stupid excuse to wait for things to happen instead of making them happen.
Blair Waldorf


Hot Damn, Leighton Meester. She plays Blair Waldorf too well. I even like her better as Blair than herself. LOL.

She's the kind of girl that you don't want to mess with. Tough and elegant...I like! Lol. She carries herself too well. I mean with the lifestyle that she has, I'm very impressed (Yeah I know Gossip Girl isn't real but, but, but...I like it. Got a problem with that?) Anyway, I like elegant ladies. That's 'cause I wish I was one. I try, but I'm more of a butch kind of girl. That's why I think when people I met in the past meet me today and get to know me, they'd actually be shocked once they found out how I am today.


I mean, sometimes its better when things aren't perfect. At least that way, you know its real.
Liz Lee

The caption for that picture was: Bryson surprises Liz by showing up at the last possible second with Troy, saying he couldn't let her go without telling her how he feels.


Now that's a great way to end the season 1. She's cool. Going up on stage and singing in front of her high school just so she could take one for the nerds. Star Wars geek and all but at least she isn't fake.


KATY PERRY...

KATY PERRY...

FUCKEN' KATY PERRY...

DAMN SHE'S HOT. I mean this girl, I could really go lesbo for her. That's all I can say about her. NUFF SAID!

Zooey Deschanel, the doppleganger of Katy Perry. They're both gorgeous in their own way. I can't pick one 'cause they're both beautiful and cool. I mean come on, 500 days of summer. That movie is sooo nice! She's the girl you call when you want crazy adventures. And her band, She and Him...dang. Her voice is nice. I heard her sing in Conan and man she got a crazy ass voice. Oh I also like how she's Vegan and all. One day...Lol.




I know it's pretty random but I've been thinking about these girls all day in the office. Analyzing how great of a person they are in their own way. I will one day be on that list!


Namaste.

New year, New Tattoo!

So I've been itching to get a new tattoo for the past two months, I just can't find a decent one to put on my body permanently (Doi). At first, I wanted this dreamcatcher sketch on my right forearm.

Pretty isn't it not? (Double negatives, I know!) But a lot of people (including my lovely boyfriend) are against me having a tattoo on my forearm. I mean come on! I'm gonna be a lawyer, someday after law school HAHAHA. Lawyers don't really need to abstain from these kinds of art 'cause they usually have their own office, or they dress up in longsleeves and what not so you don't really see them tats. So what the fuck are you telling me that I shouldn't get one 'cause I'm gonna be a lawyer and we have to look decent and whatever? I'll show you.

Anyway, this is my second choice. (I love dreamcatchers okay? They chase my nightmares away).

Soooo pretty :( I have the money and time. But I'm still hesitating on the designs. I don't know. Maybe I just haven't found the right design for my forearm. I'll look for more. If you happen to be an artist and can sketch me a nice dreamcatcher, I'd gladly look them over and maybe I might get it as a design for my future tattoo!

Love and peace everyone.

Namaste.

DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL

I AM FRIGGIN' 21 YEARS OLD DADDY!!!

So okay, I have been in a state of somewhat depression because of my age since I've started working. My parents allowed me to go out whenever I want within a reasonable time during weekdays and on weekends, well you know the rest. Anyway, last night my friends and I planned to go out and party. So I hung out whole day at the house just so my dad would let me go out at night. I asked him around 9pm if I could go out and he flat out said NO. Can you believe that? I am an employed 21 year old girl whose Dad won't let her go out on a SATURDAY NIGHT!!!! What the fuck. I couldn't believe it that's why I started hyperventilating in my room. Yeah I know, it's too shallow to turn it into a big deal but I just can't get over it. Well in the end, he let me 'cause my face was annoying him. LOL. I did the pout thing so I guess it still works. LOL LOL LOL. Anywho, I can't deny the fact that I'm such a brat when it comes to those things. It's just that, I've been a good girl and all so what I think about in those kinds of situation is that I deserve to go out and have some fun. I mean come on Dad, I'm 21 years old. A college graduate from a great school, not pregnant and is employed. My only vice is going out and partying. Why deny me of my pleasures?

But...(yes, there is a but) at the end of the day, my Dad can never bear the thought of giving me what I want. That's why most of the time I win. Lol. My Dad loves me too much to not say yes to me. I don't think that's bad. Though other people call that a brat or a daddy's girl. At least I know my Dad loves me.


Namaste.

I'll be your fantasy

I love you oh so much Fred, you have no idea.

Nietzsche, my hero. But I'm not in the mood to talk about him, maybe next time. Lol.


Currently listening to: Sugar Skulls - Envy on the Coast


Isabella stand a little bit taller.
I don't deserve your tears
Anymore than you deserve the fears
That I have left you with, dear.
Oh, May I bless your every last tear?

"She's just a little girl, she knows nothing of this little game we
Like to play"

So tell the martyrs to wait at the gate.
This is an actual case of the truth.
At least, that's what they call it these days.

So tell your brothers and sisters to wait,
'Cause love is nothing to waste,
And I swore,
Never your heart, shall I break.

So there's this thing called boredom and when it strikes, you just can't help but think and think and think until you scare yourself with all the if's, what could have been's and but's. I have to say that New Year is a bust. It's another year, so what? New shit? Then what? I have to say that it's pretty overrated (No offense to all the believers and patrons of New Year's). I gotta say that change can come any time. You don't have to start during New Year's. Gaahh. Whatever. Bah Humbug to New Year.


Anyway, my New Year was alright. Spent it at home and out partying and drinking after with my boyfriend (oh yes someone loves me! Shocker right?) and friends. Feels pretty liberating to go out during those family occasions. Though it's making me feel old, I have to say that it's better than being stuck at home, drinking with my family and just surfing the net or what not.


Hmm. My job. Is hella crazy. Lol. I work for a private company that supplies the water in the east zone area of Metro Manila (Go figure). I work for a director there and I have to say that I am very lucky to have him as my boss. I do administrative work so it gets pretty tiring at the end of the day. But on good days, I just sit with a panel while listening to a business area review writing down minutes and the like. Free food. Free time. Boredom. Meh. I'm confused if I like my work or not. Though it pays good for minimal work I must say. Bought a lot of shit! Like before starting working, I came across a site that sells polaroids and thought that I'd buy one for my first paycheck, and ALAS! It came true! Lucky bastard am I not? Lol. Bought also a heck of a lot of clothes for office and yes, MY NEW HOLGA GLASS TWIN LENS REFLEX <3.

My three lovely cameras! Olympus DSLR, Fuji Polaroid and Holga GTLR Lomo Camera (IT'S PINK!!!)

I can't friggin' wait to develop all my films! So far, I've used 2 films, one black and white and one colored. It is so fun to take up lomography as a hobby. It's not like any other photography experience. You get to be challenged as a photographer because first of all, it is not digital. So there's no viewfinder to see how'd you do with the shot. And! There's no delete option so it's either you hit it or bust. It's a pretty pricey hobby but I think it's worth it. My polaroid camera are for memories. I love it oh so much you have no idea! (Btdub, I sound like a kid in a candy store when I talk about cameras LOL. Don't even get me started with friggin' Yoga! Hahaha!)


Anyway, so much for cameras. Share your hobbies with me, I might try them out just 'cause I'm bored :)


Namaste.